Just An Animal
by berr.holl
Summary: This takes place in August at the time of Bella's wedding. The story is from Jacob's point of View. He's in Canada when he gets wind of the date and decides there's something he needs to do back in Forks. Will Alice know? Will Bella understand?


**JACOB BLACK**

I growled at the sun. It scorched down on me with inevitable hate. The cursed signal in the sky only reminded me of why I was running, why I was pushing myself farther and farther away from Washington. It looked to be about nine in the morning. It had been about two months since I had left. The summer was nearly over. I could see the clouds of the impending snow storm off to the right, in the direction of Alaska.

I was somewhere in Quebec, I assumed. My instincts had been bothering me lately. I knew that something bad was going to happen, but I couldn't put my finger, well, my paw, on it. I passed it off as unnecessary. If I couldn't figure it out then it didn't matter.

A gush of cold wind swooped down on me. I shuddered instinctively. I was cold. That was extremely surprising. I was a werewolf, I didn't get cold.

The cold seemed unseasonable. It was technically still summer, wasn't it?

_Yes. _

Sam. _Get out, _I ordered firmly. I didn't want to deal with Sam preaching to me about making the right decision, at this very moment. I was focusing on understanding the storm and why it gave me such a strange feeling. At least it was only Sam. Leah had finally left, allowing some peace of mind. Annoying she-wolf.

If Sam was telling the truth, which he always did, then it was still summer. I wondered what the date was.

_August Thirteenth, and please don't blame Leah. You know it's not her fault. Blame me if you want to point fingers. _If Sam gave an order, it was impossible to ignore it. But he wasn't ordering now. Just trying to get his former lover a little justice. She had a lot to deal with and I figured that I could be a little nicer. However, she was always very moody and mean. Both traits that didn't impress me. I really didn't like having to be in her head every time she got pissed, which was most of the time.

_What fingers? I haven't had those in a _very_ long time,_ I sneered.

_I see your point. Still, show some patience. Unless she imprints, she isn't going to change. You need to accept her for who she is, strings attached. _

I wasn't really listening to Sam. I was thinking about what he had said before. "_August thirteenth, and please don't blame Leah." _

Then it hit me. The last time I had actually seen Leah, was the day that I got Bella's wedding invitation.

Bella's wedding was on the thirteenth of August. What time? I asked myself, but Sam answered for me.

_Eight thirty tonight. _There was an edge to his "voice". I knew why. He understood why it mattered all of a sudden.

I understood also. I knew what I had to do. I could not let Bella marry him. He was going to change her as soon as possible afterwards. She still had options. Life wasn't that bad. Alright, I did not really have a right to say that. I had given up on life long ago. But still.

Bella had so much…how was she so willing to throw it away for that bloodsucker? How? She wasn't going to. I wasn't going to allow it. I had to do something. Anything.

_No! _Sam's voice was suddenly harsh. _No! Jacob, you can't. You won't. That is an order. _

_Yes, and it was an order when I said to get the hell out of my head but you didn't listen. And don't try to be my mom. You are the pack leader, not the pack mother. _My tone was a little on the strong side. But I didn't feel bad about it. This, for once, had nothing to do with him. It was all me. It was all Bella.

I was going to crash Bella's wedding. I was going to crash Bella's wedding regardless of how many times Sam ordered me not too. I had the power to make myself more of the Alfa than him. I didn't really believe that. But I didn't have to crash it, just show up and make Bella think about what she was doing.

_What time is it now? _I asked Sam incredulously. Sam would answer. He respected me enough to.

_Nine oh five. Don't be cocky. _He hesitated.

_What? _

_Well, if you go, which I am asking, but not ordering, you not to do, don't make an ordeal of it. Don't crash the wedding, as you put it. Just speak to Bella. And if you are too late, you just have to accept that. She…loves…him, _he shuddered as he thought of what was true but he hoped could never be so.

_I make no promises, _I vowed sincerely. _But I think I'll follow your order._

He chuckled slightly. _You know where to go. Enjoy your experience. I'll send Quil and Embry to check on you. Bye._

He disappeared then. It felt good to have my head to myself again. Back to Bella. Why was I doing this? I wondered. It was not safe or smart. There was no way the bloodsucker would let me live if I did this. But was that such a bad thing? Being killed by a Cold One? No. Not if I was dieing to show Bella the light. I could handle anything for Bella, She was my all.

The hours passed by as I ran. I watched the sun carefully. I had to keep it above the horizon. She was getting married-no-she wasn't going to get married at eight, so I had to get there before sunset. My mind rushed. I couldn't seem to stay on the topic I wanted to think about, Bella.

I though about Alice. She couldn't see us. She wouldn't see me coming then. But if-no-when I stopped Bella, Bella's future would disappear, too. Surely the bloodsucker would notice that. So, I had to have another motive. I was going to the wedding to…wish Charlie good luck. That was it. Charlie did not want this, I knew that. So if I wished him good luck, then maybe the table would turn in his favor. I pounded that decision into my mind. Alice wouldn't see Charlie's future going into the hands of my invisibleness. There was too much else to worry about.

As it approached six, I began regretting what I was doing. Bella would never choose me if I did this. So…why was I? I guess my thinking was that, it didn't matter if she chose me. I already knew that she loved me. That was all I needed. But I couldn't stand by and watch her destroy her life! She had a life! She had a purpose other than him. She just didn't know it.

Even though I knew that she knew there was another option, that she had another purpose, even if that wasn't with me, I tried to make me believe a stubborn lie. I worked, well enough.

At last Embry changed and he greeted me.

_How are you holding?_ He asked trying to be helpful.

_Fine. You didn't have to come. _

_Yes I did. _His answer was vague, but his indirect thoughts explained him. _Isn't there another way? _He begged.

_No. She won't choose right on her own, so I must help her. She needs a push. But I'm not going to talk to Bella; I'm going to talk to Charlie._

He scanned my thoughts and snickered._ It doesn't change anything. Alice is too attentive. She'll notice anyways. Actually, I'm surprised that she hasn't showed up already to destroy you. _

I was too, but I didn't want to admit it on my own free will.

_Well, since you're here, be helpful. How long do I have? _

_Forty-five minutes, give or take. If you hurry, you'll get there with five to spare. He's insane Quil, _he added to Quil as he appeared.

Quil listened for a moment, then nodded in agreement.

Thirty minutes later, I met up with Embry, and Quil five after that. _I wonder if they will be mad at us for not r.s.v., _Quil mused as we neared the bloodsucker's house.

_Considering the mission I'm here on, _I said with a sarcastic grin, _I really doubt that will matter. _

_True._

_Give me your shorts, Embry, _I muttered as I came to a stop on the front side of the house. It took a moment longer to transform back than it used to, but one could contribute that to not changing in months.

I pulled on the cut-off sweats as I heard the minister read off the vows.

Bella's sweet quiet voice said, "I do," strongly and proudly as I came around the corner of the house yelling, "NO BELLA! You'll regret this!"

The heads in the crowd turned as gasped, as the iron arm of a vampire wrapped around my torso and yanked me towards a door in the glass wall. Bella whirled around a second after the others and met my desperate gaze with appalled eyes. I assumed that the heart break was going to follow close behind, but I wasn't able to see it because I was pulled through the door and thrown to the floor.

The force of the vampire's assault sent me sliding across the expensive tile and crashing into the wall, the wall crumbling in the shape of my body.

"You stupid intrusive mutt! You inbred barbaric dog! Do you have any idea what you are doing and who you are dealing with?" the words were angry and forceful, but no higher than a whisper. The vampire cursed several times, and mingled the profanities with more insults.

As soon as my eyes focused, I tried to see who I was attacked by. It was…Emmett, I think. The largest one. Probably made body guard to keep troubles like me away. He obviously was trying very hard not to start throwing punches at me.

Moments after he finished demeaning what I was, he grabbed my shoulder and drug me through another door. I glanced at the new surroundings and concluded that it was the living room; it some what resembled the room I entered at the beginning of the summer.

His iron fist crushed my bone, as his arm had done before. I tried to fight, but too many bones were broken, even I didn't heal fast enough.

It wasn't long after he has slammed me to the ground and stood back holding his fists tight, that Alice appeared almost silently at his side, similar frustration on her face.

Then it faded, and twisted into hurt. She stepped forwards, and I scrambled back. Her eyes got really big, her lip trembled, and her body shook slightly. "Why?" The anger flashed back. "Why are you doing this? To Bella? Didn't you promise to stop trying at the games? Didn't you promise to step back and let her live her life how she wanted? Why?"

I gaped. This wasn't what I had expected. I had expected her to beat and batter me until the bloodsucker showed up and finished me off. But no, she was pleading with me. Begging me for answers. What was I supposed to tell her? It dawned on me that I couldn't live with stepping back? What exactly did she want?

When I found my voice, I managed to say, "This isn't for my benefit, if that's what you mean."

"Then whose is it for?" Bella whispered in a chocked voice. I snapped my head in the direction the voice came in. the guilt swamped me. I drowned in it.

Her beautiful face was masked in pain very similar to what was on her face the day she came to me with the motor cycles. Her eyes were swollen and red, the white gone blood shot. Her cheeks were rosy and her lips trembled excessively. The simple but sophisticated makeup was not smeared however, and it would have pretty, if it wasn't Bella hurting, because of me, especially. Her hair was done up perfectly, curls every where, shiny from the mist. I couldn't see her dress, other than the lace on her collar, her arm, and the outside of her pufey skirt. The train trailing in the distance.

In front of her, blocking the best of my view was him. Her arm was wrapped around his body, a useless restraint against his arms that shook slightly. The anguish that was so clear on her face, was no where to be seen on his, only raw anger. There was an emotion, however, that they both shared; but, it was much more prominent in Bella's expression.

Betrayal. The art of being stabbed in the back. Bella felt betrayed because I said I wouldn't interfere with her life like this anymore. Because she trusted me not to hurt her, which I clearly had done. The slight resemblance on…_Edward's…_face was because he sent me that invitation because he trusted me enough not to tear Bella's heart out. Because he had realized that I truly loved her and he wanted to show that he felt somewhat bad for me, regardless of how happy he was that he had a royal flush and I had a pair threes. The cards were dealt in his favor, and he had felt regretful about it, and now I was refusing to let him take the pot he so clearly had won.

I gulped down the vomit that had found itself in my throat and stared at the floor. "Yours." The word was faint and quiet and I wondered if she heard it.

She obviously had when I heard her say, "Explain that to me."

"What?" I gasped.

Her voice still in that exasperated tone, she whispered, "Explain that to me. Explain to me how you think that _that _would benefit me." Her voice broke and she turned angry. "Cause I sure as hell am having a really hard time understanding!"

"What's there to understand?" It had seemed all too simple to me.

"What's there to understand? What's there to understand? There's a whole hell of a lot to understand! Like why you are here! Like why you think that _that _would have changed my mind in your favor! Like why I'm supposed to benefit from my wedding being crashed! Like why you would do this to me!" her voice shattered into a broken pile at the end and she turned to cry into his shoulder.

He picked up the arm on his other side and stroked her face soothingly, whispering, "It's alright. It's okay. Calm down Bella. It'll be alright," despite to bubbling hate on his face.

His scorching golden eyes finally left mine and he turned to look into Bella's as he lifted her chin.

"Why?" she asked him exasperated again.

He answered my question about how he thought that it was alright. "Be thankful this," his other hand brushed her wedding dress, "isn't something you wanted."

She sounded a little frustrated as she said, "It isn't about this," she motioned to the wedding dress. "It's about _that._" She pointed at me as she said it.

A fire burst into flames beneath my skin. My heart twisted and wrenched. I could feel Bella's words tearing it up.

She had called me "that". The disgust in her tone as she had pointed me out was as horrible as the words.

I realized then that this was a waste. I meant nothing to her compared to him. No matter what I did to make her see that she had another option, life, not me, life, she would dismiss it. Sam and Emily, she had said long ago. It was like Sam and Emily; she never had a choice.

Dieing wouldn't be so bad. Bella would never see the light, but even with me alive she wouldn't, so what would it matter? My death would take Bella's pain away. It would feed the bloodsucker's anger, and no one would ever have to deal with me being the new Leah any more. Everyone would be happy. Especially Bella. Especially me.


End file.
